Equality, Equity, Shoes, and Health Care

Equality for all is not my ultimate goal for our health care system. You’re probably wondering what the hell I am talking about right now, but let me explain. 

What I want for our health care system is equity. What does that mean? Let’s look to an analogy first given to me by a great friend and social justice advocate, Noel Gordon. Of course, this was a while ago, so I may put a little twist on it, but the point should be the same.

In an equal world, equality is giving all the barefoot people in the world a pair of shoes. The White people, the Black people, the Asian people, the men, the women, the children, the teenagers, the adults, the elderly, everyone- all get a pair of shoes from some company. Sounds great, right? That company just eradicated the problem of bare-footedness. Well, unfortunately, equality means that all of these people get the same size shoe, because that is the equal way to distribute them.  For some people, the pair of shoes fit, but for many, they are still left with no shoes.

Now let’s look to what equity means.

In an equitable world, a representative from the company goes around and measures (or at least asks) everyone’s shoe size. Then this person reports back to the company, orders the appropriate amount of each respectable size, and delivers them to the people. Now everyone has a pair of shoes, but more importantly, those shoes were customized to fit a specific person.

Differencebetween.net has a great quote on the difference between these two very similar-looking words: “When we say equity, we refer to the qualities of justness, fairness, impartiality and even handedness. When we talk about equality, we are talking about equal sharing and exact division.”

So how does this relate to health care?

If health care providers (HCPs) gave equal care to everyone, I believe that the system would fail. Maybe not critically fail, but it would be far from perfect. We are not all the same, we are not robots or cars, and doctors should not use a check-box system to deal with our ailments. We all have a unique background, whether it may stem from our race/ethnicity, our gender, our sexual orientation, or any other identity we may possess. We should be treated in an equitable manner that takes into account the person we are, not just the shell of a body we live in.

Why isn’t this system in place now? It takes extra time, resources, and compassion; 3 areas in which the health care system is pretty consistently losing ground. The amount of time that doctors have per patient is going down, resources are being conserved as the government is sequestering money away from the health systems while the price of medical technology is still sky high, and as a result of all of this, and in my personal experience, doctors simply don’t have the time to be compassionate to all of their patients. They don’t have time to ‘measure their feet’ to refer back to the previous analogy. And what it leads to is a system where equality still does not even exist, let alone equity among and between certain groups.

How do we fix this? To be honest, I don’t know the mechanism. I am not in the shoes of the HCP yet, and I have little experience on the front lines of health care. What I know that we (future HCPs) can do is learn about different social groups- what are the unique health care needs of African Americans? Members of the LGBT+ community? Other marginalized groups? I will tell you that these groups have special needs that HCPs should consider if their goal is to provide comprehensive and quality care.

Educate yourself. Take a class on health care disparities or cultural competency, talk to your friends with different identities than you, talk to an HCP about their experiences serving diverse populations. These conversations and experiences will mean more in terms of achieving your future goals than biochemistry, physics, and genetics combined. Even the Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT) is starting to realize this, and their test is changing to follow suit.

Of course I may be acting naïve in assuming that your goals are similar to mine- that everyone should have access to a health care system that cares about them as an individual person, not as a member of some predetermined group. Call me a dreamer, but I think that we are about to train a new generation of HCPs who are much more appreciative and understanding of the diversity in the world.

Do I think this process will be easy? Hell no, it’s going to be one of the hardest paradigm shifts that health care has ever seen. But as the Chinese philosopher Lao-tzu once wrote, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”.

Take the first step. Remember to measure their feet. Give them the right size shoe.

Looking toward the future, 

Adam

Top photo from: www.boardworld.com.au

Bottom photo from: http://www.ford.ie

Baggage: Not the Kind you Bring on an Airplane- the Kind You Bring Everywhere You Are

My Spring Break from the University of Michigan was pretty calm. I stayed down here in Ann Arbor to catch up on my research projects at the hospital and to enjoy the company of the handful of friends that stayed down here as well. The break was much needed relaxation, but of course I was able to learn a few lessons.

This lesson came to me on my birthday, March 6^th.

It was a pretty average Wednesday; I started off the day going on NICU rounds for a job interview and then I went to my Urology office to work. One of my friends took me out to lunch that day, which is always great. It was a pretty normal lunch, and somehow we got to talking about my future research in health disparities in the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender communities. This is a conversation that I have with a lot of people since I am so nerdy and interested in the topic, but it had never ignited as much personal interest as it did with my friend that day. She looked at me and I could tell that she was a little off-kilter about something.

After we had talked about this subject for a little while, she told me that she has known me for quite some time now, and had something she had to tell me. I instantly knew what was on her mind, and she didn’t even need to say it. Literally, she never said any words when she came out to me as being gay.

My first thought was “holy shit!” I was flabbergasted and speechless for a few seconds. It wasn’t because I was mad or upset, but because I’ve known her for a while and would never have guessed that she had this baggage to deal with- on top of a lot of other personal issues in her life right now. She has known this about herself for over 10 years, and is just finally feeling safe enough to tell people. The fact that it took her this long to tell me made me realize how much stress people in the LGBT community must be in when trying to discover, and then share their identities.

So you’re probably wondering what my philosophical revelation for the day was.

I don’t think the following details of our conversation are extremely important, but I want to share the lesson that I learned on my birthday.

People have baggage. No matter how well we think we know someone, we will never know all of their life experiences and all of the shit they have had to go through or are currently going through. To combat this lack of knowledge, we must be open, accepting, and there for people. You never know what a mean word might do to a person whose baggage currently has them depressed or suicidal.

I recently had to help run a meeting in my residence hall to deal with the use of sexist and homophobic language being used in our hall, which is not tolerable. The words ‘faggot’ ‘queer’ and ‘gay’ were thrown around by these freshmen boys like monkeys fling their shit. And they both have about the same effect on others in the community. Watch your language; you never know how your words will hit someone. Be inclusive and inviting to those around you. You don’t have to agree with people’s sexual choices, but you do have to respect these people for who they are. Imagine yourself in their shoes, having to tell your family and friends a secret that has gotten people disowned by their families, or even killed, in the past. And then imagine the emotional baggage that those people are dealing with. How does that make you feel? That’s how these people feel every day.

So to recap:

Everyone has baggage.

You don’t know everyone’s life.

So-

Be nice.

To everyone.

All the time.

You never know how your positivity might help someone who just needs someone to be there. It’s a skill we all need to work on, and hopefully you can see from my experience that this kind of stuff happens in real life and truly does matter.

Peace and love.

Adam 

 

*Photo from Issues in your Tissues

“We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve”: Why We Shouldn’t

 

This past week I finally watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower, after weeks of my friends telling me that I had to see it. After watching the movie, I understood why I, and really everyone, should see this movie. I think almost any person could find at least one theme that they were also currently dealing with, and it would resonate with them.

My favorite part of the movie is when Sam asks Charlie “Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?” Charlie’s response: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” -A message that his favorite teacher told him earlier in the story. I was watching the movie on my laptop by myself, and I wish I could have taped my reaction. Do you ever hear something in a movie or on TV, and just get overwhelmed? “Holy shit,” was all that I can remember saying- out loud, by myself, probably tearing up.  

But really, how true is that statement? My blog seeks to help me, and my readers, reflect on our lives through reading and pondering. This is why I think this quote (and let’s be honest, movie) belongs here.

How many times have you had a crush on someone who treated you like nothing? You could jump through hoops, and (s)he wouldn’t even acknowledge your existence. But you kept doing it, and it wore you down. I think we have all been there. But what this made me think of the most was our choice of friends.

I’ve made poor choices, in the past and maybe even the present, when choosing my friends. I am guessing that I’m not the only one that has done so. I have had friends that have used me for something to do when one of their “better” friends was busy. Or the people who make plans and then throw you to the curb once their find out that one of their other friends wants to hang out. God do I hate that, and I think that it is a part of humanity that will not go away until you cut those people out of your life. I’m sure I have done it to people, but I really try not to. No “friend” deserves that.

I have tried to fit in with people who didn’t appreciate me because I thought they were cooler than those people that really loved me. But thankfully, I have found a group of people who loves me, and I love them right back. In my opinion, I’m pretty awesome and my friends are pretty awesome. That’s why we’re friends. A lot of people don’t get that luxury that I have, and they are stuck with a group of people that doesn’t really care. I’ve still got some Spring Cleaning to do, but finding the right people takes time. Making new friends at a huge, new, university can be difficult, but if you’re loveable, good friends will find you and you will find them. That applies for any setting.

So if you’re ever questioning your friendship with someone, ask yourself this: “Do I “like” this person because they really like me back, or am I settling for someone who doesn’t really care about me?” You might be surprised with what you come up with.

 I can tell you that after watching this movie, I am going to be much more conscientious about who is in my life. I hope this will bring you reflection and some satisfaction, or the impetus for change in your life. You only live once, so why not surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally and will always be there for you? I’ll give you a little advice, I’m getting there, and it feels good.

So what do we deserve in life, if it isn’t crappy friends? We deserve to be loved, to be cared for, and most importantly, to lead a happy life. And we deserve people that will get us there and enjoy it right alongside of us.

Thanks for stopping by. And if you haven’t done so already, watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower as soon as you can. I promise you will love it. 

Make my life easy, and I will stop living: Why I appreciate the hardships, tears, and rain

Life sucks, then you die. A common motif of my College Prep English teacher (who is awesome), Thomas Hardy (the author), and Adam Eickmeyer (me). This is a motto I have referenced countless times in my life when things were going wrong. I still believe the general idea holds true, but I think a less melodramatic way to put it would be “Life is really, really, REALLY, hard. But if you appreciate and learn from your hardships, you will die at peace.” But who the hell wants to say that? Life sucks, then you die is so much more fun to say! Well I’m kind of over that after some reflection on life itself.

My life is not easy, and I really do not think anyone’s is (although Paris Hilton’s is much less not easy than mine, just saying). I spent the last five minutes listening to a song and bawling my eyes out, for no other reason than my  internalized stress has finally built up enough throughout the past day that it had to come out. While watching the documentary Bully the other day, one of the kids compared rain to human emotions, and it was so perfect. What I took from it, is that clouds are like people. We internalize so much of our stress, and eventually it builds up to a point that we can’t keep it in anymore, and we dump it out on everyone around us.

Our hardships and our tears really do have a purpose. How good do you feel after a really good cry? I’m guessing you feel pretty good, because I know I do. I bet you also feel really reflective on your life. I would be willing to wager that some of your best ideas and moments have come after you cried about something. We really don’t take enough time to care about our own feelings, and our clouds build up to the point that when we finally let them out, they express themselves as hurricanes. No one likes hurricanes. Hurricanes hurt everyone in their path. But, how about a nice sprinkle on a warm summer day? Those are the best. Blizzards are unfortunate, but tell me you don’t get excited on those days that it’s snowing just little enough that you can see the individual snowflakes and appreciate their individual beauty.

Don’t let your stress build up to be a hurricane. Let it sprinkle out every once in a while, and I promise you that you will feel better. Let the snowflakes fall, and realize that they are beautiful.

So, put on a sad song and cry your eyes out. I promise you it will feel good. And guys, it really is okay for us to cry. After 18 years I finally realized that- hopefully it won’t take you that long.

Then kick life’s ass otherwise it will kick yours. Embrace the challenge and get in there. Tell that special person how you really feel, get an awkward rejection, eat a ton of junk food, take a risk, do something stupid, stay up until 4am watching Youtube videos with your friend, even though you have so much homework that you should be doing. Enjoy the little moments. Enjoy the struggles. Take a chance and live your life before you can’t. And when life starts sucking, just remember you could be dead.

What do you think?

Peace and love.

Adam

Reason #45489574 why I love my job

Now that I’m getting back to using my blog, I thought I should start writing about some of the things that I noted I wanted to write about in the past.

Working as a clinical researcher is not a job that anyone can deal with. In my short time doing this work in anesthesiology and urology, patients have died, undergone severe mental downfalls, and much more. But each one that I have had the opportunity to meet has made me a better person.

Let me tell you the story of a woman that I met a few weeks ago. I was recruiting her for one of my studies, and once she consented I started talking to her about what the procedure was. We got to a question about how risky her procedure was. She answered somewhere between 1-10, but the words that came out of her mouth next were what was so amazing about this experience.

“I’ve died before. People always ask me what it was like. It was the most beautiful thing, I tell them.” At this point, I’m sure my mouth was dropped open and producing drool like a dog. She looked at me and said, “Never be afraid to die. Life is great, but I’ve never been happier than those minutes that I was dead.”

How does someone respond to that? A simple “Wow” was all that could escape my mouth. What was going on in my head was more like “Holy shit, is this real life?” We chatted for a few minutes about it and I finished up that part of the study. She was already one of my favorite patients, but she took it one step further and actually asked me about my life. She didn’t care that she was about to undergo a cardiac procedure- she generally cared about me as a person. We talked for a while longer, and after I knew it was time for her cath team to get her ready to go, I gave her my best wishes as she was getting ready to go into her procedure. I usually say a quick, silent prayer for patients’ safety before they go in, but for some reason, I didn’t say one for her. I knew that everything would be fine. I never saw her again, but in my head I know that she’s out there spreading her word.

In all of my posts, I try to have a subliminal message for people that *actually* care what I have to say. Usually it’s pretty clear, but I think this experience warrants a little bit of a push from me. There are 2 things that I hope can be taken from this post:

1) Life is short. Duh. But it can also be taken away from you at any minute. Tell your friends and family you love them, don’t hold grudges, and know that there is always someone who loves you unconditionally. Take chances, make stupid mistakes, and learn as much as you can in your short time here on Earth. Because one day, unexpectedly, it could be over.

2) Talk to people you don’t know. Be friendly and approachable. I would have never had this experience if I wouldn’t have went out of my way to talk to this woman about her life. Even more, her caring enough to get to know me made my day and made me reflect on how I do my work and live my life. You never know what kind of a day someone is having, and a few kind words could truly make a difference in their life.

Thanks for reading! I’d love to hear some reactions, or anyone that has a similar story.

Life is imperfect. It’s the little perfections that make it worth living.

I have had one of the worst months that I can remember. I’ve gone through having mono while still trying to balance school, 2 jobs, and what some may call a social life. I’ve shut myself away from my friends and family because I hate people seeing my weaknesses. I’ve felt worthless and useless more times than I can count. But today when talking to a new friend, I’ve realized that I’ve been looking at life wrong for the past (almost) 20 years. 

Growing up as one of the top dogs in a small town, life was pretty easy for me. I didn’t have much to worry about, and took for granted all of the love I got from my friends and family. Then U of M came in and checked a lot of my privilege. I truly went from being a big fish in a small pond to a minnow in the ocean (yes I know minnows are freshwater fish, but I’m making a point).

I started looking at everything wrong with my life instead of what was right. I cried over getting a B in Calculus, but never took the time to smile over all of my friends that made my freshman year (or this year) an amazing experience. And today I realized two things: 

1) I’ve been doing this wrong for my whole life

2) The people that are in my life are perfect 

I’ve spent the last month worrying about three main things: my grades, being sick, and my research projects. I’ve been struggling with my identities, and have been thinking that I was all alone.

During this time I failed to appreciate so many things- that I have friends that will tuck me into bed when I feel sick, friends that will go to the store to get me stuff so I didn’t have to leave my room when I was sleeping 12+ hours a day. I have professors that care about me and one that even invited me to her house to help me get caught up on my work (and see her dalmatian puppies!). I have a family that loves me so much that they can’t go a day without making sure I’m alright. And today, after seeing a Youtube video of all fricking things (and letting out a few months of tears), I realized how much happier I would be if instead of advocating for everyone to appreciate their lives, I took some time to appreciate mine. If I was a character in the Iliad (Gtbooks 191 reference FTW), my fatal flaw would be worrying too much about making sure everyone else was happy, without taking the time for myself. I think Homer would have killed me off when I was comforting someone else, because that is completely how my life is. Finding the balance between caring about others and caring about myself is my newest resolution. For now, I’m going to appreciate everyone who hasn’t been. 

To all my perfections; my friends and family, especially Mom, Dad, Sara, Callie, Taylor, and Nav, I love you all. You are truly the perfections in my completely imperfect life. And to all my future friends, I cannot wait to see what life has in store for us.

 

-Adam